Blake Shelton became People‘s Sexiest Man Alive on Tuesday and we all collectively let out a big sigh.
Seriously People? There are a ton of reliable (unproblematic) men who should grace the cover and restore faith in what makes celebrities actually sexy.
Here are a few options that any able-minded person would have picked over Blake Shelton.
1. Idris Elba
Idris Elba is the most obvious person that should have won sexiest man alive. Children watch Thor and think he’s Jesus. And now he is giving us this look for People‘s failures.
2. Mahershala Ali
Mahershala Ali and his breakout roles in Moonlight, House of Cards, and Hidden Figures is all that is right with the world. He won an Oscar, but his Sexiest Man Alive title is long overdue. Peace and blessings, indeed.
3. Kit Harington
How can you say no when the King of the North is holding a baby wolf?
4. Tom Hardy
Between his looks and consistently altered voice in movies, Tom Hardy’s work as the sexiest man alive has been adding up for years.
5. Oscar Isaac
Though he’s gone on to be the breakout star in Star Wars, Oscar Isaac’s camaraderie with his cat in Inside Llewyn Davis should’ve won him the Sexiest Man Alive title since 2013. Long overdue, People.
6. Mark Ruffalo
Do we need to explain this? Mark Ruffalo, the Hulk, the social activist, and the go-to guy for all your swooning needs. He’s also an amazing dancer (Have you seen 13 Going On 30?).
7. All the Chris’s
Why focus on one country singer when you can have four actors all with the same name grace the cover? Individually they are beautiful, together they are a powerhouse of Chris’s ready to take over the world.
8. Alexander Skarsgård
A rising star that grace the big screen in The Legend of Tarzan (shirtless for most of it) and won an Emmy for Big Little Liars. His brother is also Pennywise, so be very afraid Shelton.
9. Luke Bryan
Alright People, you wanted a country singer, why not go with Luke Bryan instead? He has the looks, the charms and he’s going to be a judge on American Idol.
10. Jeff Goldblum – MVP
It’s surprising Jeff Goldblum hasn’t graced the cover of every magazine for every title known to man. He’s bringing sexy from the past, present and near future. Blake Shelton wishes he was on his level of royalty.
We can’t continue the list until People decides on 2018’s medicore Sexiest Man Alive cover, but we have a few honorable mentions that didn’t quite fit the cut just yet.
Honorable Mention #1: Michael B. Jordan
Don’t underestimate Michael B. Jordan’s charisma. He starred in the hit Creed and next year will star in Marvel’s Black Panther, so be inspired by your next selection.
Honorable Mention #2: Jon Hamm
Jon Hamm isn’t as big as he was during his Mad Men days, but he is an American Institution. He excels in drama and comedy. And did we mention he’s an American Institution?
We fully expect to see this list take over the next 12 years of Sexiest Men Alive. Don’t fail us again, People.
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